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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29133924">Not Alone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerpoodles/pseuds/queerpoodles'>queerpoodles</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Warrior Nun (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Confessions, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Feelings, Mental Health Issues, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:00:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,141</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29133924</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerpoodles/pseuds/queerpoodles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ava is forced to face all hear fears at once. Beatrice is here to make sure she knows how important Ava is. </p><p>or</p><p>Beatrice comforts Ava late at night.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>96</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Darkness Caught Up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She’s running. She’s running in what seems like the hallway of the nunnery she lived in before her ‘revival’. Ava doesn’t know why she’s here. She couldn’t recall why in the world she would be here right now. The aging concrete walls feel endless as she runs with all the energy she has. </p><p>Wait. Why am I even running? What am I running from? Oh, God. Ava turns her head behind and she chokes on her breath when she finally gets a peek at who she was running from. Or more precisely, what she was running from. It had a dark-like figure, translucent, as though it was a combination of a shadow that could be seen through. It had legs and it was catching up to her. She kept on running even when she heard the figure laughing, in a low-tone. It creeped her out and she was sweating cold sweat now, which was worrying as this place should be feeling like a literal microwave. </p><p>Fuck. Fuck. She tries to use her Halo to do something. Anything. She tries focusing on the circular piece of metal in her back to combust or give her some sort of super speed of nothing. She gets no response. It was as though the Halo wasn’t there at all. Ava starts to panic. She’s gasping for air at this point now and she’s wishing that she had her sword with her. Why isn’t her sword with her? She didn’t know and she didn’t have the time to think anymore. </p><p>Ava’s legs are burning now. It feels as though she just went for a marathon that she unwillingly participated in. </p><p>“I can’t, I can’t anymore. So tired. Please, stop, I beg you.” Ava says, hoping the figure had stopped chasing her. She turns her head for a glance and nope, it was still there, right behind her, laughing away. Ava’s leg suddenly felt severely numb and she tripped on the hard floor.</p><p>She’s facing the figure now, she has no time to escape but she attempts to use her arms to maneuver her body backward just to get as far as she could from the dark figure. </p><p>“Well, well, well… Look who’s on the floor now,” it said, mockingly. </p><p>“What, what do you want from me? Please, leave me alone.” Ava begs, knowing well that the entity will not listen to her.</p><p>“All I want is to see you suffer. You’re weak, Ava. I can feel it in your soul.” </p><p>“How do you know my name? What are you? Why are you doing this?” Ava says, almost shouting, hoping someone could hear her.</p><p>“Well, Ava, I’m you, of course. I’m your deepest, darkest, fear. Here, let me just show you exactly what I mean. Or rather, what you mean.” the dark figure disappeared within a second after whatever it was talking about.</p><p>Ava sighs with relief. She has no idea what just happened except it was the most surreal thing she had ever experienced. Now, it’s time to get the fuck out of here. She had her most terrible memories here, at this place. All the times the evil nuns bullied her because of her inability to basically move anywhere by her own. All the times she felt so alone with only herself as a companion. She tried getting up from her current position, her legs were stretched out in front of her and her hands were at the back. She tries folding her legs into a squatting position, but nothing happens. Ava’s heart rate spikes, and she’s panicking. This, this was a fucking nightmare. This must be a nightmare, right? She looks around, trying to see if there’s anything at all she could use to get herself up. She was met with disappointment. It was just walls and walls of walls. She didn’t remember this exact part of the church at all. She tries, again and again, to get herself up and going but nothing works. She tried using the Halo too, and that just did absolutely nothing too. </p><p>These were her worst fears. She’s alone in the place she despises the most with no one at her side, with no functioning Halo, and she can’t walk. She can’t even stand. The insides of the church felt as though it was caving in, like the walls and the ceilings were periodically getting narrower and shorter as Ava’s eyes filled with tears. It was cold too. It was cold and the only thing that warmed her body were the tears streaming down her face as she furiously attempted to wipe them away with her sleeves. Within seconds, she was choking haphazardly as she cries and her head felt light, with her running and crying. </p><p>It felt like hours went by when she finally just gave up doing anything and just laid on the floor and wrapped her arms around her, to keep herself warm. She falls asleep with the voice of the dark figure repeating itself with “Now you’re truly alone.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Feelings Are Special</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Beatrice realizes that Ava had a nightmare.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ava wakes up to herself crying. Everything still feels hazy and the room was still dark. She sits up and then everything that happened hits her. Her dream. The figure. Her legs. Alone. She feels as though she was brought back to that moment in her nightmare again, that just happened moments ago. She starts crying again, unable to stop herself even though she knows it was just a bad dream. She tries to grab her pillow to stop herself from making even more noise now, everyone was probably still asleep. </p><p>The door opens, softly. Ava was shocked by the sudden sound of the door hinge. It was Beatrice, wearing her pajamas and also… holding a sharp knife. </p><p>“Ava, oh no, what happened?” Beatrice asks, as her face becomes much more awake now faced with a still-crying Ava. </p><p>“It’s nothing, it’s nothing. Just a bad dream.” Ava says, still covering her face with the pillow, trying to conceal her probably swollen eyes and tear-covered skin. </p><p>Beatrice was now kneeling by the bed. She slowly holds Ava’s hands that were tightly wrapped onto the pillow. Ava lets go of it after a while, still looking down. </p><p>“Beatrice, I don’t want you seeing me like this. You don’t have to do this… I...I’m sorry I woke you up.” Ava says, clearly still crying.</p><p>Beatrice’s face softens at the sound of Ava’s voice. She hesitatingly places her hands on Ava’s shoulders and replies “Ava, you’re not bothering me. You never had. Please, let me be here with you okay? I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Beatrice stands up to sit next to Ava who now had her legs up to her chest. Beatrice was now sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with the other girl.</p><p>“It’s just. It was just so scary. I don’t know how to talk about it.” Ava cries.</p><p>“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to tell me if it makes you feel uncomfortable, okay?” </p><p>Warm hands were suddenly on Ava’s cheeks. Beatrice’s soft hands gently push Ava’s face upwards. Ava now faces the girl in front of her that had her hair down, a vision that was rarely seen. If she weren’t having a literal breakdown right now, she probably would have told her she looked beautiful. Her face warms with the touch of Beatrice. Beatrice doesn’t say anything, just uses the pads of her thumbs to wipe away the tears that were still rolling down Ava’s face. Ava had a sudden realization that they were close now. She could feel the warmth coming from Beatrice’s body. Ava’s crying stops. She can still feel her eyes were a little swollen but she couldn’t look away from Beatrice, who was looking at her with worry clearly on her face. </p><p>“I… I’m sorry you had to see me like this. I know it’s probably dumb for you to be coming over to my room to calm me down from my dream. Thank you, Beatrice.” Ava manages herself to say aloud. She feels slightly better now, distracted by Beatrice’s presence and her calming nature as a person.</p><p>“Ava, it’s okay. Really. You’re never a burden, I hope you know that.” Beatrice pulls away but places her palm on Ava’s, which was atop her lap. </p><p>Beatrice’s eyes were reflecting the moonlight through the windows. It was a beautiful sight to be seen, even on a night like this, Ava thought. She couldn’t stop herself from placing her forehead against Beatrice’s. It was something she needed right now, even if she wouldn’t admit it. It was comforting having another person present after a dream like that. Beatrice’s breath hitches slightly, at the sudden contact from Ava. Ava decides not to think too much about that right now. She just wants to savor the moment in front of her. They stay that way for a long time, till Beatrice takes a deep breath and slowly pulls away. </p><p>“Do you feel okay Ava? Do you need a glass of water? I can get one if you need some.” Beatrice asks, face slightly flushed after the long physical contact.</p><p>“No, no. It’s fine.” Ava says. She feels better now after the much-needed comfort she just had with Beatrice. They both looked at each other, saying nothing. </p><p>As Ava looks at Beatrice’s face, she realizes that the girl in front of her has been nothing but kind and warm to her, this entire time. Sure, she has her moments where she could come off as sharp to Ava, but it was mostly deserved. The nun had revealed her secret to her so honestly, trusting that Ava wouldn’t use it against her. Doesn’t she deserve the same? Ava couldn’t tell her about this. She didn’t want to hide a part of herself from Beatrice. </p><p>“Can I talk to you about my dream? I… you… you deserve to know.”</p><p>Beatrice clasps Ava’s hand. “Ava, it’s alright, you don’t have to talk about it if it makes you feel worse or if you’re not ready. I understand.” </p><p>“No. I’m ready. I think if I say all of it aloud, it might help? I don’t know. I’ve never actually… I never actually talk about what I feel deep down too much to anyone.” Ava admits.</p><p>“Okay. Just take a deep breath first and know that you can take your time to go through everything alright?” Beatrice reaches out, slightly uncertain as she tucks a strand of loose hair from Ava’s face to the back of her ear.</p><p> </p><p>Ava takes a deep breath as Beatrice’s hand grazes against a small part of the side of her head. She’s going to have to have to process this tomorrow morning. </p><p>“Thank you. It’s just, it was a dream in the old church I lived at for most of my life. It wasn’t a happy time, being there. All those nuns probably left a bad impression of religion on me, considering how most of them fucking hated me. But who knows, they’re all old and constantly salty so that might just be why they were like that.” Ava jokes, trying to lighten the mood. It felt weird, not pulling out puns or bad jokes out of her head which was a norm when she talked with Beatrice. </p><p>“Language, Ava.” Beatrice looks sternly at Ava. Then she smiles and giggles and says “Well I’m sure they were. Old, I mean. Probably forgot the entire Bible and its teachings when they treated you and the rest as though they were the villains of an old Batman film.” </p><p>Ava smiles at the attempted joke Beatrice made. She playfully hits Beatrice’s shoulder. “Hey! They were so mean to me. And also, Batman? You’re full of surprises, Bea.”</p><p>“Okay, sorry. I just wanted to make sure you’re comfortable and all with me here.” Beatrice explains.</p><p>“Of course I am, Beatrice. I could never do this with anyone else.” Ava says, looking into the other girl’s eyes. Hoping she would understand how important she was without telling her word-for-word. </p><p>They both stayed silent. Ava decided to continue with her dream. “So, the church. I was in it. I was running and running nonstop in the hallway. I hated that hallway so much. It reminded me of the times I had to be pushed on a wheelchair by a non-willing nun who constantly reminded me how useless I was to them.” Ava’s voice cracks. Fuck. She thought she could talk about it without breaking down again.</p><p>Sensing Ava’s sudden anxiety on the topic, Beatrice holds Ava’s hand, as though to reassure her. It worked. Ava took a deep breath and goes on.</p><p>“I was running from some sort of entity. I don’t know what it was. It cornered me and I tripped. This thing, this creepy looking shadow knew my name. Beatrice, it knew my name.” Ava closes her eyes tightly at that memory. The image still burns behind her eyes. </p><p>Beatrice doesn’t reply at that. Ava didn’t know if anything she could’ve said could comfort her either way. </p><p>She opened her eyes and looked away from Beatrice, choosing to look out of the window at the moon instead. </p><p>“It was me. That thing was me. It told me. Or I told me.” Ava gestures at herself. “That I’m weak. Then it disappeared. Just like that. And I couldn’t move. I couldn’t move my legs at all just like when I was…when I was paralyzed.” Ava looks down at her lap. She moves her feet just to reassure herself. </p><p>Still looking down, Ava says, “I felt so… alone. There was nobody there, it was just me. It… it reminded me of right before I...died. At least the remnants of my memory before the nuns decided to murder me.” Ava sarcastically laughs at her sadistic humor. She feels as though everything was so incredibly absurd now, with her being alive, her being a Halo-bearer and basically responsible to save the world from an evil demon. It feels as if her life was returned to her as a joke, making her unable to actually be free, like she had always wanted, when she was paralyzed. She holds such an important responsibility and she feels, as though her entire being was just brought back for that.</p><p>Beatrice removes her hand from Ava’s. </p><p>Great. Just great, I managed to scare Beatrice off. I don’t fucking deser—</p><p>Ava is jolted by the sudden body pressed up against her now. Beatrice was hugging her so tightly that she might not be able to breath. Ava was tucked in Beatrice’s neck while Beatrice gave comforting pats on her back. Ava couldn’t take it anymore, her  tears came rolling back. The affection that came with Beatrice’s hug gave her an unexpected overwhelming emotion of solace. She finally lets herself let go. Her tears flow down her face while she breathes rapidly and doesn’t let go of Beatrice. </p><p>After a few moments, Beatrice pulls back, taking a tissue on the bedside table to wipe at Ava’s tears. There was silence whilst this happened but Ava found it natural. Beatrice puts aside the tissue and faces Ava.</p><p>“Look, Ava. I can’t tell you that what you’re feeling right now will go away if I tell you it will. But I want you to know that you being alone? That will never happen. It wouldn’t matter if you were a quadrapligic, festooned with boils or a talking head in a bag, you would still have us. We would never leave you.” Beatrice says, then pauses for a moment.</p><p>“I will never leave you.” Beatrice continues softly, almost a whisper.</p><p>Ava looked up to see Beatrice herself, and had tears in her eyes. It had been some time since the last time she saw Beatrice so… So honest with her feelings, ever since the Bible reading suggested by Sister Camila. </p><p>“You mean that?” Ava asks, shyly. </p><p>Beatrice places a hand on Ava’s thigh. “You know I do.” </p><p>Ava melts at Beatrice’s tenderness. “Thank you, Bea. I… I don’t know what I did to deserve…” Ava gestures her hands at Beatrice’s figure. “I need you to know that… You’re special to me, Beatrice. You’ve always been, since the beginning.” </p><p>Beatrice was smiling now, teeth showing. It felt good, so good, to see Beatrice being herself in so many ways at once. It was somewhat rare for Beatrice to act so vulnerable.</p><p>“You’re special to me too, Ava. I hope you know that, too.” Beatrice replies, cheeks reddening. </p><p>Ava was getting tired. She glanced at the alarm clock by her bed and it was already 4 a.m. and they both needed to get up in another 2 hours. God, being a Warrior Nun was tiring. </p><p>“Hey, Beatrice?”</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“Could you… Would you want to sleep here? With me? I mean you don’t have to if it makes you uncomfo—“ </p><p>“Okay.” Beatrice replies, quickly before Ava could finish her entire sentence.</p><p>Ava didn’t expect that. She wasn’t going to complain though. Beatrice arranges the pillows and lifts the blanket up and gestures at Ava to get in. They somehow got into a position where they were both facing each other. They looked at each other for a moment, a moment too long yet still felt too short at the same time. Ava feels incredibly brave right now. It probably is the lack of sleep acting on her brain, or just her being herself most likely, but she places a hand on Beatrice’s cheek. Her cheek was warm against her skin. Beatrice closes her eyes at the contact and leans her face into it, clearly enjoying the sensation. </p><p>“Beatrice, you’re so fucking beatiful.” Ava confesses. She’s never said anything like that to anyone, even less that the someone is a nun. </p><p>Beatrice opens her eyes slowly, looking sleepy already. She smiles at the words Ava had just said. Ava leans forward and plants a kiss on Beatrice’s lips. Just a quick one, in case Beatrice didn’t want it to happen. Beatrice didn’t react. She looked surprised at what just happened and as though she was thinking through 100 things at once. Then she looks back at Ava and smiles. Ava would kiss her another million times if she could see that smile over and over.</p><p>“No, Ava, language, this time huh, Bea?” Ava wiggles her eyebrows at Beatrice, hoping to diffuse the awkward situation she had just instigated. </p><p>“I’ll make an exception this time.” Beatrice replies, cheekily. </p><p>“Let’s sleep, Ava. You’re going to be complaining about being tired during training if we don’t soon. Goodnight.” Beatrice says softly, closing her eyes.</p><p>“Okay. Goodnight Beatrice.” Ava was probably not going to get any sleep not knowing what Beatrice was thinking in her head after everything that had just happened. </p><p>“And Ava?” Beatrice says, eyes still closed.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“I like you too.” </p><p>OH. OHHHHHHHHHHHH.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope the ending was satisfying enough! I don’t think I’m ready to write smut just yet, maybe the time will come soon though. Thank you for spending your valuable time on reading the strings of words I put together. Fingers crossed, I’ll be writing more frequently now.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! Honestly, I thought I wouldn’t be creating any new content for another 2 years, considering my bad track record. Hope you guys enjoyed this! Please do leave any comments or criticisms if you have any!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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